I have railed on before about the fact that Australians find it really easy to adopt Kiwi success stories as their own. For a while during these recent Olympics, Australian papers were reporting Australasian gold medals including ours in their number, as their haul was so meagre.
But, try to get Aussies to accept that we make good tomato sauce, grow better apples and potatoes in New Zilland which is wet and green than they do in Oz which is dry and brown and hellfire and brimstone are unleashed.
Just this week our papers reported how the Potatoheads in Oz were trying to block the import of Kiwi spuds for making chips. In a moment of remarkable ingenuity they invented a potato blight called Zebra chip disease.
According to the expert the chip disease affects their taste and appearance. I expect next we will have Chip Awards and a Chip Marketing Board
To get their message across the potato heads released an animated video of eminent Aussie politicos playing Space Invaders against New Zealand potatoes.
Thankfully nobody from Potato New Zealand was available for comment. And a search for Potato NZ proved fruitless.
So even if we wanted to, we weren't able to stoop to our own low in the ongoing battle to get our dear friends on the West Island to just man up and try and sell their stuff on its own merits like any regular person should.
In the end, if our chips taste bad and our apples turn out mushy we reckon peoples' wallets will pay attention to their mouths. But should they wish to continue to thwart our pathetic efforts to get a little business back from them what say we take back all the other things they took - our newspapers, our banks, our fashion industry, our racehorses, our rugby coaches (that'll make em happy) and our bands. And leave them to be devoured by their own jingoes (with chips).
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